You know when you are little you often wish you were adopted? I turn 38 Wednesday and I'm still waiting for my "real" mom and dad to come get me.

No, I wasn't adopted. I just wish I was.
Desperately.
Somedays I don't think about it but others it's worse.
Like today.
The situation with Brian is deteriorating the family so fast. It's only been 38 days and things are sooo bad and going downhill with such a force. I've written him 3 letters and only received one. I've asked him to call me and wrote my number since he probably doesn't have it. But no calls. Not one.

I've been off work almost two weeks. I thought I was better but as of today, I'm not. Nope, not even close. I go back to work on Friday. Then have Saturday off. The weather has been crappy the last two days so I haven't been to the pool, hopefully tomorrow will be nice. Had a cookout at Jodie's today. Was nice until someone brought up Brian and I tried not to say anything but then did. I asked if they filled out paperwork to visit yet. No. I said what are you waiting for? Well he said to wait. For what? You going to wait for him to get moved? Then fill out paperwork and then maybe not see him for 2 or 3 months when it gets approved? Well he said to not worry about it. Probably hurt Ma's feelings but who knows since she doesn't say anything. I said something about Daddy giving his stuff away to people on the street and Ma sitting around with her head up her ass instead of doing anything.

So he calls them, they talk about who knows what. Daddy GAVE AWAY a jet ski, the same one he wouldn't SELL to Jodie, but he let some woman write a check and take it away. Evidently dumbasses didn't take the check to the bank, because she called the next day and said don't cash the check because I haven't transfered money into the account yet. WTF?? Did the dumb asses tell her to bring the jet ski back? File a police report? Cash the check so as to prosecute her for writing a bad check? Jodie didn't know.

Better yet. Or just as bad. They picked EXIT Reality as the realtor. This is the same realtor that has 50million signs around town on houses for 6 months or longer and the houses never have sold or pending or lower priced or any movement on them. UGGGG

Got a letter from the attorney today. Resentencing will be on August 10. I hope he gets time served. I don't know the odds of that but I pray that he gets it, just so the 2 dumb fucks don't ruin him more. Although that's another 30 days away and they can certainly do a whole lot more harm. UGGGG

Oh, then I said if anything happens to me I don't want you people to cremate me or if I live to sell or give my stuff away because don't think if I come out of it that I won't sue your asses. She says you better put it in writing. WTF? Bitch I just told all of you what I want. I've told Jodie 4 or 5 times. I've told Kevin. I've told Nonnie and Uncle Bill and bitch says you better put it in writing?!!!

Is that a threat?!! She better hope she's coddled Jodie enough that she'll take care of her because she's obviously getting senile already. If she thinks I'm doing it. Guess again. As for him, he cut himself off when he insinuated that I'm too stupid to run a lawncare business. He's taking all of Brian's stuff. He's being an ass to everyone over the whole situation and just like when he beat us when we where small, she's sitting by with her head up her ass letting him abuse us.

Kevin doesn't return calls or come to town.

My psychiatrist thinks they are punishing Brian and that all 3 of them are depressed. He wants the 2 of them to come see him but they won't.

Well I didn't sleep good last night. I took 1 1/2 ativan tonight and a drink, the fireworks must be over and I'm going to try to get some good sleep.

Out.